Paper Heart
Dec.06, 2009, under 1 star, Comedy
I’m not even sure where to begin telling you what went wrong with this film. From the minute it started, it was just awkward. The only accurate word I can find to explain this film is “awkward” so be warned, I say it a lot. The idea behind it is really cute: she interviews everyone on their ideas of love, what it feels like when you’re in it, how you know you’re in it, etc. Cute right?
The girl in the movie, Charlene Yi, is kind of awful. She’s awkward. It’s supposed to be a documentary, and she acts as the host, more or less. She also claims she doesn’t believe in love. Nonetheless the interviews she does (with the school kids and the older couples and a gay couple) are charming. The documentary portion is really clever. Some of the couples tell stories of how they met, and as a way of making it more interesting, she makes these paper cut out cartoons. I’m not accurately explaining this, but trust me they are funny.
For whatever reason, they decide to introduce Michael Cera as her potential love interest. Again with my keyword for this review: all together now, awkward! This is when it becomes blatantly obvious we’re not really watching a documentary (it’s pretty clear from the beginning, but just in case you had any doubts, you’d know by now). At least find two people with a little more chemistry. And why in the world would you try to have him as a love interest when she has gone on and on for an hour and half about not believing in love?! Was Leonardo DiCaprio busy or something? In case you haven’t read the review about “Year One” I am really not a fan of Michel Cera’s, and he doesn’t do anyone any favors by being in this film.
So let me reiterate, this movie is just awkward. I liked the interviews with the kids and the married folks and the gay men, but I’m still fuzzy why they gave her a fake on screen boyfriend. And for some reason the go to Paris at the end. Confused after all of that? Yeah, me too!
Rating: 
Star Tour- I mean, Star Trek…
Dec.03, 2009, under 2 stars, Action
This review is going to make me very unpopular. Let me just advise you now, if you are a trekkie and don’t want to read a review by someone who has never watched a single episode of the show, do not read this. Consider yourself warned. I mean it, stop now! Because I do have a tendency of getting Star Trek and Star Wars confused quite frequently, and I make no apologies for that.
I learned one thing about myself from watching this film: I prefer my movies to take place on planet Earth, and preferably not in the future. I can see how people who watched the show, or other movies, would really love this. I totally get it, I’m just not one of them. The acting was great, the effects were unbelievable, but I just didn’t follow along with the story. At times the effects were overwhelming and I couldn’t keep up with it. Spock and his crazy time traveling confused me. And I continually had to ask who people were, and why they were doing the things they were doing. It all made sense to someone who understood, but since I am not a trekkie, I felt very out of the loop. Chris Pine was great, and no one can deny that Zachary Quinto played a spot on Spock! Simon Pegg is great, even if I couldn’t understand anything he said, but I thought his alien sidekick looked more like a tree stump than an extra-terrestrial.
I am just not a sci-fi person. It doesn’t do anything for me. But if you’ve watched the show, or enjoy this particular genre, I’m sure you’ll love it! I do happen to know several fans who will probably want to prosecute me for saying the things I’ve said, but there you have it (and please forgive me for how vague this is, as we watched it right before Thanksgiving, and the tryptophan may have wiped some of the details from my memory a bit).
Rating:
Year One
Dec.03, 2009, under 0.5 Stars, Comedy
Let’s just cut to the chase, shall we? This movie was not funny. I repeat, not funny. It was absurd. I didn’t really have very high expectations, since I am not a huge fan of either of the stars, but nonetheless I got talked into it. To be honest, I am really not the target audience this film is geared towards (gentlemen, I believe this one is for you).
It makes some obvious biblical references, and then as if to counterbalance it, for fear of getting too religious, they start making fart jokes. There are several times when the characters are in a perilous situation, and then they just cut to another scene, completely surpassing how they got out of that position.
I don’t know how many different ways I can say this, or how often I can stress this, but this movie is just plain bad. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. Not much of a review, but really, what more is there to say? Just for the record, giving it a half star is being nice, and calling it a comedy is being extremely kind!
Rating: 
Blind Side
Nov.29, 2009, under 4.5 Stars, Comedy, Drama, Family, She says...
This movie was incredible. I’m not sure there are enough good things I can say about this film. It’s an easy movie to just sit down and enjoy with the whole family. Or if you’re a guy who cries easily, watch it alone.
Sandra Bullock’s character is unstoppable. From the minute she came on the screen, I was convinced she was some kind of superhero. The fact that she is based on a real person just made her that much more amazing. She is a force to be reckoned with. I couldn’t wait to see how she’d handle the next situation she was put into. The kid who plays S.J (Sean Jr.) is just stinking cute! All the actors are wonderful, and yes, that really is Tim McGraw, the country singer.
Okay, let’s talk about the story for a moment. It was great. This is a solid family film, about a strong Southern mama who does not let prejudice dictate who she invites into her home. It is about love and acceptance and a family coming together to help build up the courage and self esteem of an outsider. And this boy, played Quinton Aaron, is the biggest marshmallow you’ve ever seen on screen. In a nutshell, I am pretty sure I walked out of the theatre thinking I should adopt the next kid I saw walking down the street in the rain. And keep my fingers crossed they have amazing athletic potential. It has a lot to do with football, which I know nothing about, but I don’t feel like I missed anything by not understanding what position he played on the team.
So if I haven’t said it enough by now, or maybe I wasn’t clear, this movie is a must-see! It’s got comedy and romance and a fantastic story that will leave you smiling (and crying). Hope you like it as much as I did!
Rating:
Pirate Radio
Nov.18, 2009, under 4.5 Stars, Comedy
Also known as “The Boat that Rocked”
This just might be one of my favorite movies of the year! I didn’t know much about before I went in, except I had heard that the soundtrack was great. I’m pretty sure the minute the movie started, I had a smile on my face for the rest of the film. The music was fun, the cast was brilliant, and the plot was just awesome! It takes a lot for me to admit this, but I probably would’ve gotten up to dance in the aisles if I were that kind of person.
The man who wrote this movie also wrote “Love, Actually”, “Notting Hill”, and “Four Weddings and a Funeral” which are some of my all time favorite films. As if that wasn’t enough to convince you, let us take a look at the ensemble cast: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy, Emma Thompson, Kenneth Brannagh, Rhys Ifans, January Jones, and a ton of other people who you know from looking at them, but not by name. Even if you don’t know who they are, or have never seen them before, they are still all incredible! Each character has their own unique persona, and they are all tied together by a young man named Carl who is sent to live aboard a ship that houses a rock n’ roll radio station, since it is illegal to have such a station on land (at least that’s what I think is the reasoning behind having it on a ship). Regardless, the film flows from one story arc to the next seamlessly and with a lot of comedy and great music!
I do have one small complaint. As usual with a film set on a boat, it starts to sink. We all know that other film about the sinking ship, correct? Safe to say, I think one movie just about covered it. I realize it is all based on actual events, but I couldn’t help but try to find Jack and Rose amongst the chaos. But thank the film gods, this movie has a much happier ending!
So, drop whatever it is you are doing, and go see this film! My review does not do it justice, since all I want to do is rave on and on about how awesome it was! So please, please go see it! I guarantee you’ll have a good time!
Rating: